OF COURSE THEY GAVE IT A DUMB NAME

Ashlee Simpson welcomed her first child last night, a son, with husband Pete wentz, and was there any doubt these retards were given give the kid an awful embarrassing name?  People says…

Bronx Mowgli Wentz weighed 7 lbs., 11 oz., and was 20 1/2 inches long."Ashlee, Pete and baby Bronx are all healthy and happy, and thank everyone for their well wishes!" a spokesperson tells PEOPLE.

That’s right.  "Bronx Mowgli".  As in the kid from the Jungle Book.  It might as well be, "Sexually Confused Emo Give Me My Book Bag Back", but that wouldn’t cutely shorten into "BMW".  The two names are pretty much the same thing.  I know all these idiot Hollywood parents think they need to give their kid some special identity with their name, and oh, I assure you it will work.  He’ll be the most distinctive kid face down in the mud while Mike and Jack high five each other and walk away from the kid with the faggity name.