Christina Aguilera was sad about her divorce :(

(NOTE – like most stories, this one is hotter if you imagine it’s about UK model Rhian Sugden and her giant naked breasts. pictures under the cut.)

Christina Aguilera tells People magazine that she was something feelings something something divorce oh my god I’m already bored.

“When you’re unhappy in your marriage, your children are the ones who suffer. That’s the last thing I wanted … Things were so unhealthy and unhappy for both Jordan and me, I knew I had to end it. I really didn’t want to hurt Jordan, and I felt torn about splitting our family up.”

If you didn’t wanna hurt Jordan you shouldn’t have doubled in size, fatty.

Since filing for divorce, Aguilera has been out in Los Angeles and New York City with a new man, Matthew Rutler, a set assistant on Burlesque.
“He’s the kind of person you could spend hours with on the phone talking to and all of a sudden it’s daylight,” she says.

In other words, he’s the kind of person who’s trying to get laid and in order for that to happen, first he has to sit there and listen to all your stupid stories. Women are great, they’re awesome at a lot of things, talking on the phone is not one of them. I’d rather call a fax machine and stay on the phone with that all night than Christina Aguilera.