fuck you sean penn

The July Vanity Fair has a amazing article about the great Sean Penn, and if you don’t have time to read it, here’s a summary: Sean Penn is the greatest man who ever lived, according to Sean Penn, but he doesn’t do it for awards and he doesn’t want to talk about it, except for all the times when he accepts awards and does interviews to talk about it.

For the past five months, Penn’s home base has been the sprawling tent city set up on the former Pétionville country club. (He has left only for a short fund-raising swing, to attend the Oscars in March, and to testify about Haiti on Capitol Hill in May.)

And it’s true. Here he is May 19th on Capitol Hill. And then it was back to Haiti. Wait no then it was off to LA. This is him at LAX 8 days later. Here he is accepting an award in DC in March 11. The Oscars in LA on March 8 here. Receiving a Haiti award in Beverly Hills on February 16 here. Leaving Larry King the night before in LA here. LAX three days before that here. Another awards show in January here.

If you went somewhere 5 months ago and then went back, I don’t think that should count the same as being somewhere for 5 months. I haven’t been at Whole Foods for 5 months, for example, but I was there for a while in February, and then again this weekend. So really I only go there occasionally. Back in March someone told me Penn only stays in Haiti for a few days at a time, and then he flies back to Miami to relax. I guess it’s possible I don’t know what “only” means. I thought it meant something else.

This is the same kind of shit he pulled when he lied his ass off about helping after Katrina (more on that here). By a shocking coincidence, the same person who wrote the Vanity Fair article is the only person to witness his heroic rescues in New Orleans as well. For some reason, perhaps magic, there’s never any witnesses to his tales of daring adventure.

It’s possible of course that he’s personally doing great things in Haiti and has only the best of intentions, but he lies so god damn much it’s hard to believe him. Also Sean Penn has been a complete pussy for 40 years, and people don’t generally stop being assholes overnight. In summation, Sean Penn can go fuck himself. The End.