Amber Heard and Johnny Depp Lasted More Than a Year

Amber Heard filed for divorce from Johnny Depp. They were married for fifteen months. Enough time for nine different celebrity magazine cover stories about their fabulous love affair. Heard cited irreconcilable difference. Most notably she’s a thirty year old lesbian and he’s a a fifty-two year old who mumbles incoherently. They both like fucking sullen chicks. Not so much with all the talking.

It’s unclear why self-absorbed people become married in the first place. Especially rich and famous ones. Maybe they just want free stuff from Williams Sonoma. The divorce rate among actors is twice that of the rest of society where it sits at fifty-percent. Depp insisted that pre-nuptial agreements were for couples not truly in love, a romantic principle that’s going to cost him several million dollars as Heard filed for spousal support. She doesn’t need the money but Depp’s has a treasure trove of Pirates booty so why not dig in with a shovel before signing off. Who gets the illegally imported Yorkies? I mean, for dinner.

_{Photo credit: Splash News}