Johnny Depp Not Down With Spousal Support

Amber Heard is demanding spousal support in her divorce from Johnny Depp which seems ridiculous after being married for a year and should definitely factor into the non-existent gender pay gap. If you count banging an old goth for a year as a job. Some women do. Heard is outspokenly independent and claims to subscribe to the ideals of narcissistic trust fund conservative Ayn Rand:

“I’ve read all of her books. Ever since then, I have been obsessed with her ideals. All I’ve ever needed is myself.”

And some other guy’s money. Rand would rap you in the face with a walking stick. The concept of alimony should be phased out immediately, it’s hard to play a decent round of golf without being swarmed by dead eyed whores in the clubhouse anymore. Women have occasionally fallen on the short end of the stick on this one but the concept of gender is on its way out. Let’s just go back to calling people who want to rip off others as Scoundrels. God forbid Caitlyn Jenner gets married this is going to get really complicated. Whore.

_{Photo Credit: Splash News}