Kim Kardashian Sues Man For Being a Publicity Whore

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are preparing a legal suit against that bodyguard from the Met Gala who was fired on the spot by West for personally conversing with his porn star wife pre-event. Steve Stanilus took his pink slip and made forthwith to the Daily Mail for a tell all interview about Kim and Kanye. That violated Paragraph 1 of his signed NDA which states in 24 point Impact Bold font, shut the fuck up you stupid motherfucker or we will sue your ass.

Stanilus seemed like an odd pick for bodyguard as he’s known around town as Steve Savage, a stage performer and guy desperately seeking attention. If your bodyguard or your accountant have a stage name, you’re just asking for trouble. The West’s representative came out with a harsh and threatening statement that shattered all known records for irony:

“The West family will no longer tolerate the spreading and selling of fake stories in a desperate, transparent, and shameless attempt for publicity at their expense. This sad parasitic maniac has violated every basic human tenent [sic] of decency with his story of lies. As such, the Wests will explore all legal means at their disposal to silence this nonsense”

What could a bodyguard have discovered in a couple hours of work? That South African rapper spent a couple hours with Kanye and learned he likes anal fisting and banana pudding. You don’t need to spend much time in the sausage factory before realizing not all cliché expressions are without merit. But a deal’s a deal. Anal bead stories go with you to the grave. 

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