Guy Brags About Buying Bieber A Sandwich

Some guy named Kody Christiansen reportedly paid Justin Bieber’s bill at Subway after his credit card was declined, proof that only assholes still eat at Subway. Kody insists he didn’t want to publicly take credit for his good deed, but that the information was ‘leaked’ most likely by Anonymous or Wikileaks because it’s clearly really important. He then responded by posting several photos of the event to his Instagram page and Facebook page and Twitter page, including a copy of the receipt, because he doesn’t want to take credit for it. He’s just a humble former homeless LGBT activist who happened to be standing right behind Bieber in line. It’s not like he followed him in there and disarmed the chip reader with a powerful magnet in his pocket. 

Christiansen is currently promoting a book called Hollywood Heartbreak, New York Dreams which apparently details his life as a struggling drug addicted Britney Spears impersonator. Based on the title it seems like dogshit. Christiansen reportedly asked Bieber if he would attend his book signing, to which Bieber smartly replied he could not because he was leaving town even though he will probably be partying within a mile of the Subway all week. If you do someone a favor, you should do it out of generosity and not opportunism. People hate that shit. Put another way, Bieber would gladly have paid the whopping sixteen dollar tab if it meant avoiding your creepy book pitch. Good luck with the Britney Spears impersonating, clearly that’s got legs. Perhaps try Bieber, it’s a minor adjustment. 

Photo Credit: Instagram