Justin Bieber Argentina Verboten

The wheels of Argentinean justice move slowly. They’re still figuring out what to do with all the Nazi ex-pats who arrived in ’46. Especially after all the parades and celebrations. Three years after an incident in Buenos Aires where he ordered his bodyguard to go beat up an annoying paparazzo and break his camera, Justin Bieber has been officially indicted. Bieber has always maintained his innocence in the case, citing his obvious cowardice that kept him snug in his limo while the bodyguard went rogue on the photographer halfway down the block. That is an easy picture to paint.

You only need look to Bieber taking shirtless selfies around Los Angeles to know he’s come a long way since 2013. Nevertheless, the pop star can no longer set foot in Argentina lest he face immediate arrest. Bieber sent out an apology letter to his fans in Argentina:

Argentinian beliebers I would like nothing more than to bring the #purposetour there but the Argentinian government won’t allow it. So sorry.

Back to nonstop soccer and super naughty TV dancing shows for you, gauchos. Perhaps this is one of those instances where Bieber can be surreptitiously taken on a tourism jaunt in Chile only to discover he’s crossed into Argentinean territory on some mountain peak where he’s taken into custody. No need to jail him. Fast forward to four to five forcible sodomies and return him to Santiago in a medium to large sized paper bag to continue his Purpose Tour. Kids who’ve grown up without ever once being punched in the nose are simply horrible.

_{Photo credit: FameFlynet}