Lindsay Lohan Misses America

Lindsay Lohan was short on cash so she leased her body as an alabaster outhouse to the highest foreign bidder. Since her last cinematic flop she managed to flirt with the idea of Islam and an uber wealthy Korean bodybuilder. She would be a bonafide cosmopolitan if leaving was actually by choice. But it wasn’t so basically she’s just an international couch surfing backpacker begging for shekels abroad. Now that she has finally come to her senses she misses America after turning her back on everyone. She plans on returning to NYC for a Jan. 14th club appearance. Hopefully the Trump travel ban applies to her.

Lindsay who has been on a long sabbatical from the Meatpacking District with stints in London, England, and Istanbul, Turkey — is to make an appearance at Supertrade, a special event from the producer of LGBTQ  party Trade.

Lohan is just someone that’s not well adapted to handle life. Sure there are worse cases from Hollywood but her situation was beyond weird. Tara Reid went from Apple Pie to Sharknado, falling from the graces of an A-list isn’t the end of the world. She managed to stick things out and stay around. I’m pretty sure B-movies in America would land a bigger pay day than it would filming any movie in the middle of Marrakech. Less money and fame may not be what Lindsay is used to but it beats riding a camel to work.

Photo Credit: Getty Images / Pacific Coast News / Splash News

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