Amy Schumer Gets to Bottom of Her Poor Reviews

Amy Schumer’s latest special on Netflix has received an inordinate number of online viewer ratings, leaning heavily negative. Schumer’s certain the shitty comments are a consequence of alt-right haters. She pulled out an article from Splitsider to prove her point. Nobody’s ever heard of Splitsider so you can’t definitively call them dishonest.

“Anyone who reported that ‘viewers aren’t happy’ with my special, it would have been cool if you did a moment of research before posting. The alt right organized trolls attack everything I do. They organize to get my ratings down. Meeting in sub Reddit rooms.”

Going full tilt Hillary can garner you HBO specials, TV series, Kennedy Center honorariums, and discussion among Madonna’s Kabbalah klatch as one of the most daring comedians ever. It will also earn you trolls. You asked Trump supporters to stand at your Tampa show so you could label them as cavemen rapists. Have you ever considered causality over a Wedge with lunch friends?

Sean Penn is well left of Amy Schumer, Scarlett Johansson, Lena Duhnam, Katy Perry and the entire cadre of outspoken Hillary commandos. That bulge in Penn’s pants is Mao’s Little Red Book. Also, yes, cock implants. There’s no concerted effort to tear Penn down personally in reviews of his work. If you’re a New York sports fan you will get your ass kicked in Philly. Vice-versa. It’s got nothing to do with what kind of dad you are at home. It’s about that face paint you’re wearing and you’re obnoxious boasting. Plus an excess of Genny Light.

Schumer called a wide swath of people low rent low life scumbags for a year. Now they’re calling her work shitty. Do not for a moment suggest this will break her.

It fills me with hope and power to see you all furiously posting so as always accuse me of whatever lies you want. Call me a whale. Call me a thief and I will continue to rise and fight and lead. I know who I am. I am strong and beautiful and will use my voice my whole time on this earth. Journalists do better it’s embarrassing. Trolls see you on the next one!

Thanks, zaftig Braveheart. Learn to take a punch maybe if you’re taking up boxing. I’ll show you my Inbox sometime. You fight like a girl.

_{Photo credit: Netflix}