Eugenie Bouchard Unexpected Haters

Life is good for Eugenie Bouchard. She’s ranked forty-fourth in women’s tennis behind forty two other women and Serena Williams who mocks them all from from her testosterone castle. She’s young, she’s pretty, she looks pretty sweet in her touched up Sports Illustrated Swimsuit bikini shoot. Other than being French Canadian, you’d think her stars were aligned ever so fortunately. Think again. She has haters.

Hater itself is a word invented by millennials because they’re shitty at constructing straw-men. It’s come to be recognized by the dictionary as a ‘negative or critical person’. So, everybody over age nine not currently living in a castle. The hater tag initially implied somebody too small minded to agree with your big mindedness. For instance, you declared yourself gender fluid, somebody said there’s no scientific basis for such a distinction, and you called them a hater and all your fans on Twitter agreed. Later, hater came to mean anybody who pointed out facts contrary to your social messaging. Hey, Ashley Graham, being fat is unhealthy. Hater. 

Eugenie Bouchard is now extending hater to mean people who give you unsolicited advice. So, all parents and women and annoying friends you can’t ditch because they’re your weed connect. Bouchard explains how her haters target her online after her modeling work appears in magazines:

…the last couple of years I’ve done a photo shoot anywhere it’s like ‘oh god, get back on the tennis court… what are you doing, go practise’. I practised for six hours today and I did this like two hours after. I’m practising for six hours [a day] all this week, ‘what are you talking about … do you work 24 hours a day? “You have to deal with that hate and not take it personally. 

So, your haters are now fans concerned that your ranking has dropped from 5th to 44th since you began modeling after hours? Sacré bleu. Does coach input qualify as well?

Bouchard noted that she’s spoken to a friend and they both agreed that haters are going to hate and you have to ignore it. Haters gonna hate is a convenient rhetorical device for ignoring both mindless trolls and the truth. You have to give Bouchard a pass for being a 20-something twat because she’s hot and has appealing breasts. Lob the sexist tag. I just cleared hater by a mile.

_{Photo credit: Sports Illustrated}