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February 2, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston | 0 Comments
Justin Bieber lives in this dope Tony Stark futurama mansion. It comes with four bathrooms with cocaine already railed out on the porcelain counter tops. While I am waking up and tapping my thermometer this motherfucker has his hyperbaric pressure regulated to the nearest thousandth degree celsius. It also has one of those machines that tongues your butthole and a trash compactor and hover board. The rent on the place is $60,000 a month according to TMZ who went through his trash hoping to find the magical spent condom Harvey pays for in gold bullion.
That seems like a hefty bill until you realize how small of a percentage of his monthly pay check goes toward rent compared to fucks like us. In fact, Bieber could afford four of these places and a fighter jet to bomb the first three because he thinks he saw a scary spider in them. You don’t need a crib like this to be happy in life. But you do need it to get laid without any work whatsoever. Which turns out to be the single most important factor to being happy in life. That’s circular.
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