Pia Mia Perez Is Kanye’s Achievement Whore

When you think about all the things Kanye has given this world, from his three good songs, to his giant pictures of things, and some wicked bad-ass sneakers, it’s hard to imagine he has anything left to give. But like Jesus himself who rose from a tormented death, Kanye is now unleashing his disciples upon the world. Starting with this teen chick from Guam he may or may not be allowing to go down on his Yeezus meat while Kim spends an hour on the bidet because she can no longer reach her crap hole with paper. There’s an art to making a teenager look like a 40-something Panamanian Canal whore and Kanye seems to have nailed it. He often sketches as he plows his baby mama from behind and imagines whatever it takes to keep his little Kanye engorged. Pia took shots of herself during her concert at Universal City so she could stick it to all the people back in her island nation that said she’d be nothing more than a cliche teeny bopper Brittany rip off that they were right, but fuck you anyhow. You’d have to sew a lot of toiletry bags back in Guam to make $1500 in one night.

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