Pia Mia Perez bikini beauty of the day (DrunkenStepfather) Who’d you rather: Kim Kardashian v Sofia Richie (TMZ) Margaret Atwood eaten alive by her own angry women cubs (TerribleWords) Kendall Jenner braless in a tight sheer top (TaxiDriverMovie) Halle Berry looks stunning on the red... READ MORE

Somebody ruined all the fun in lesbianism. What used to be cheerleaders going down on one another on late night cable has turned into a boring semester of identity politics. Butch flannels and lectures are in. The scissor-kissing sessions... READ MORE

Pia Mia Perez is easily written off. Less easily so when showing off her titties in a pink bikini because you tried to write her off. Now who feels schooled? READ MORE

Grandma used to warn the young’uns not to dress showy or boys would think you were that kind of girl. Now archetypal prostitute garb will get you where you need to go. It’s not sex work if you pretend you’re... READ MORE

It’s unclear whether Uncle Terry slaps these girls with his cock before or after the shoot. Maybe one for good luck prior, then a countdown of raw penis slaps across the chops depending on how well the shoot went... READ MORE

Kris Jenner brought out her sex mannequin daughter and her friend from Guam trying to be an immigrated harder whore to remind everybody that her posse rolls hard, big, and will do anal for Bitcoin. Kris Jenner was being... READ MORE

Mexico is sending us their rapists. We’re sending them our whores. It makes sense if you studied street economics. Kris Jenner dispatched Kendall Jenner along with Hailey Baldwin and Pia Mia Perez down to Mexico to chaperone her barely... READ MORE

Kylie Jenner’s 957th unexcused absence from school was a day well spent. The Jenner daughter sorted out her feelings on chemtrails and dad’s nationally televised castration by grabbing brothel locker partner Pia Mia Perez and rebooting Adrian Lyne’s Foxes... READ MORE

There’s a shit ton of stuff you can get done as a teen when high school isn’t on the menu. Get Softcore United on the phone tree and coordinate a bare midriff shopping trip. Some day, you’ll shopping as... READ MORE

When your daughter comes to you with a vivid dream of showing off her tits and hanging with the Jenners and having Kanye as her late night private music mentor, that’s not a dream, that’s an omen. She may... READ MORE