We Won’t Be Seeing Bieber’s Dong On Police Video

The judge in Justin Bieber’s Florida DUI case will allow police surveillance video of Bieber in jail to be released with one catch: his dong has to be blacked out. You’ll recall that the lesbian hobbit was arrested a while back for drag racing and driving while fucked up on anxiety meds and weed. The footage in question is of the fun times had inside the jail the night of the arrest. The objectionable part of the video occurs when Bieber has to take a piss test to assess what shit he was on. His lawyers said that to release the tapes unedited was a violation of the miniature weasel’s privacy. Florida is big into freedom of information so the tapes must be released if requested. The compromise was to edit in a black bar around his junk. While this may ignite the fury of millions of chubby pederastic moms with visions of cougar-cubbing this petite diva, I’d like to thank the makers of cloaking black bars everywhere for once again saving the rest of us from having to see unwanted man junk, even of the smallish variety.