Bieber Faces the Music

Justin Bieber is facing his haters with love and a shitload of attorneys. The twink pop star has chosen to stand trial for his DUI arrest in Miami. The prosecutors had offered the diminutive Canadian a plea deal where he’d get off  with standard celebrity justice: probation and random drug tests. Justin reportedly told those Sunshine State hosers to piss off, aye. Presumably that drug testing part might prevent him from hotboxing private jets and drinking cough medicine with pops. So, now he’s going to have to borrow some big boy pants and go to the Dade County courthouse to face charges. This means that Justin could have his license suspended and could face up to two years locked in a building where his nickname soon becomes ‘Sink the Stink’. Though if you’re a betting man, figure on a fine and a couple weeks of fake rehab. This crooning Napoleon is going to get himself killed well before anybody successfully locks him up.