Elmo Is Off The Hook And Free To Terrorize Boys on Sesame Street

Kevin Clash, the fist inside Elmo’s red furry asshole, is not going to be tried for allegedly having sex with three underaged boys. Not because there isn’t enough evidence, but because the accusers waited too late and the statute of limitations ran out. You’ll recall that Clash resigned from Sesame Street after several boys came forward and claimed that they had boy-man sex with Clash when they were still minors. You’d think that there wouldn’t be a time limit on child molestation by a beloved TV Muppet, but you’d be wrong. Clash resigned from Sesame Street but it’s possible that given the fact that he isn’t actually going to be charged he could go back to the show or go work for some other children’s program. That’s what these perverts do, they get jobs that give them access to their prey. Like a necrophiliac at a morgue or a couch fucker that works at IKEA. Either way, Clash officially skates. Today’s news is brought to you by the letter B for bullshit.