Cardi B Skips Court Because She’s Famous

Cardi B has clearly forgotten her roots after finding fame. The same woman who once had intoxicated men ever so eloquently lodge legal tender between her buttcheeks now thinks she’s too good to show up for court. Cardi B believing that she’s above the law makes her sound like one of those sovereign citizen lunatics on Youtube. I understand, in the real world most women hit a glass ceiling when they’re dancing on stage in glass heels before they ever turn into Cinderella. But somehow Cardi made it out of the stripper lifestyle before having to endure another Monday afternoon of sticking Heineken bottles in her hooha just to get the men who’ve seen it all to still tip her. She’s definitely skipping court dates due to her slightly still inflated ego.

Rapper Cardi B on Monday failed to show up to a court hearing over an alleged strip club brawl — angering the judge who threatened to have her arrested if she skips the next appearance.

“I want you to convey to her that it’s not acceptable that she’s not here today,” Queens Criminal Court Judge Sean Dunn told the artist’s lawyer, offering a new date of Dec. 7.

“You should inform her that if she doesn’t show up, that unless circumstances change, it’s very likely that the court will issue a bench warrant for her arrest.”

Lawyer Jeff Kern had told the court his 26-year-old client, whose real name is Belcalis Almanzar, was too busy being a famous rap star elsewhere to make Monday’s appearance.

I wish the judge good luck with that warrant. Any former stripper attacking current strippers at a strip club does not give a damn about a warrant. The upstanding citizen following rules thing went out of the window when she took up employment that required her to take her clothes off. If you really want to catch Cardi B, threaten to have the IRS audit her for every dollar bill slipped into birth canal that she “forgot” to report as income from her stripper days.

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