Kourtney Single Again Because She’s Old

There are no pamphlets or set of instructions when you come in close contact with a Kardashian. Scientists and other experts are still having a difficult time deciphering how the mixture of a below average R&B singer’s DNA fused with an overdue abortion and resulted in an anthropomorphic super virus that managed to make millions, a pointless TV show that miraculously avoids being canceled every year, and take over the minds of so many Americans. While no one knows how to correctly approach the family of mostly females that open their legs more than their mouths, there happens to be sound advice floating around. Don’t date the oldest one. There are no benefits that come from declaring yourself Kourtney Kardashian’s official clit caretaker. Her boyfriend Younes Bendjima finally realized this and was okay with ending his relationship with Kourtney for a woman whose peak accomplishment in life was working at Hooters. There’s something empowering about working for tips without showing too much tit, Bendjima is two for two with the classy women.

Looks like Kourtney Kardashian is back on the market.

The reality star has called it quits with boyfriend Younes Bendjima, ET has learned.

“Kourtney and Younes recently broke up after the couple decided it wasn’t working out,” a source tells ET. “Kourtney was the one who initiated the split.”

Following their recent split, Younes was spotted soaking up the sun with a group of friends in Mexico, including Jordan Ozuna, a former Hooters waitress who was previously linked to Tyga and Justin Bieber.

Younes just wanted a sample. Anyone with eyes could tell this wasn’t a serious relationship. He was able to cross off mature cougar and a Kardashian from the sexual conquest list because of the same woman. Who doesn’t love a twofer? Kylie is worth almost a billion, Kim uses black magic and black dick to make money appear out of thin air, and Khloe has connections to score some of the best crack in town thanks to her ex-husband. Almost everyone else in that family has something to offer potential suitors except Kourtney and Caitlyn. All they bring to the table is heartache and the ability to have an uncanny sexual experience.

[Kourtney’s Hottest Pics Right Over Here]

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA / MEGA / Instagram