Paris Hilton Wants Attention Again

Paris Hilton danced her way into obscurity before but now she wants to tango with relevance once more. She’s somewhat smart for using socialite to describe her profession instead of party prostitute or porn star, both of which could easily be added to her résumé. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks which is exactly why Paris channeled her inner Reese Witherspoon to advertise Kombucha on Instagram in a velour suit. She sure does look Clueless. Legally blonde idiot using the same claims to fame as she did in the noughties. When her dreams of relaunching a reality TV series was recently shot down she decided to behave exactly like a Kardashian. The first woman to be famous for nothing lost her 2 million dollar engagement ring on the dance floor but somehow found it in a crowd of almost 7,000 people in an ice bucket two tables away. She clearly wants to make headlines again at all cost.

After losing her $2 million pear-shaped engagement ring while partying in Miami Friday — then miraculously finding it in an ice bucket — friends of Paris Hilton say they “fear for her safety with that huge rock on her finger — they are scared she’ll be robbed like Kim.”

Hilton, 37, went into panic mode after her gigantic 20-carat ring from fiancé Chris Zylka flew off while she was dancing with her hands in the air in the wee hours of Friday at industrial former soda factory RC Cola Plant at Mana Wynwood.

Paris is name dropping Kim Kardashian and her robbery situation just to be cool again. There is no “woe is me” when you’re around people that have 2 million dollars to spend on jewelry. Seek a 24-hour security staff and some common sense instead of sympathy. You deserve whatever happens to you if you decide it’s a good idea to dance the night away on E with a ring on your finger worth more than a house.

Photo Credit: Paris Hilton in an outfit that can only be reasonably described as “pussy safari”