Does Your Life Suck? At Least You’re Not Lindsay Lohan

Every time anyone looks at Lindsay Lohan the initial question anyone should ask themselves is “is she still bangable to me?” This self-inquiry determines whether or not it’s worth caring what the ginge minge expat has been up to. If you’re still nostalgically rubbing one out in her honor you’re going to be disappointed to learn that she’s doing lawyer.com advertisements now. She’s officially a former shell of herself, never to return. She’s being paraded around by anyone willing to pay for her next meal and a pack of a menthols. She’s floating in-between a fame purgatory. On the hierarchy she’s just slightly above most Instagram models and current reality TV stars thanks to being easily recognizable ex-A-lister with a familiar face. Buy I wouldn’t be surprised if she booked the lawyer ad through a temp agency.

Lindsay is terrible at Irish goodbyes. You don’t slip out of Hollywood unnoticed to look for gold elsewhere like some disloyal to their country of origin leprechaun only to return to do menial ad work. The ad takes jabs at her troubled past and she looks like a cleaned up AA member who traded Jaegermeister for the love of Jesus and a six month sobriety coin with absolutely no monetary value. Hopefully family or friends step in to escort her away from this embarrassing attempt at a comeback. They’re laughing at you Lindsay, not with you.

Photo Credit: W Magazine / Splash News / Backgrid USA