Lena Dunham’s Ex-girlfriend’s Life “Reduced To Dumb Hetero Normative Gossip”

Corrections and clarifications: In the article “Lena Dunham Single” we mistakingly identified Jack Antonoff as a man. He is in fact a strong powerful woman. Thanks for your understanding. So, yeah, Lena Dunham can now hunker down with her best and closest friends Ben & Jerry while crying over the five-hour-long BBC Pride & Prejudice, because her Mr. Darcy has officially peaced out, leaving her as a single decomposing trash heap of anger and hypocrisy. Except it’s more like her Miss Darcy, because her ex Jack Antonoff – who I have somehow been blessed enough to not know anything about, except that he has excellent taste in manatees – has proudly come out as a bitch in the form of a borderline unreadable statement that would make Lenny Letter contributors want men to have penises again.

Antonoff dated Dunham for a staggering five years, and during the last leg of that pride-swallowing journey, contributed to the singer Lorde’s album Melodrama. Tabloids being tabloids are alleging that Antonoff and Lorde formed a romantic relationship in the studio, and Antonoff being a woman, tweeted this response:

Normally i would never address rumors but i resent having the most important friendships and working relationships in my life reduced to dumb hetero normative gossip. those relationships are deeply important and sacred. with that said, im not seeing anyone. lol.

I mean. My balls just fell off. “Dumb hetero normative gossip? “Deeply important and sacred?” “lol?” Jesus. First off, it’s heartbreaking to hear that in 2018 straight people are still being marginalized. Heterosexuality. What a burden. I see that Antonoff and Dunham found common ground in being victims. Secondly, someone’s having a heavy flow day. Rite ladies?

Photo Credit: Instagram