J.K Rowling Joins the Knot Twisting Party Over Johnny Depp

Morals are things you bring out when convenient. Aristotle said that pretty much in one of his treatise. For instance, you can be a diehard feminist and women’s rights advocate, but when the star of your own movie is threatened with Twitter storm over past domestic abuse charges, you realize exceptions must be made. Sort of like how Lena Dunham determined that her good friend and show writer was one of the four-percent of men accused of sex crimes who are actually innocent.

J.K. Rowling employed a big ball of words, rationalizations, and circular logic to explain to Harry Potter fans why she’s good with Johnny Depp being the star of the next Fantastic Beasts film release:

“For me personally, the inability to speak openly to fans about this issue has been difficult, frustrating and at times painful. However, the agreements that have been put in place to protect the privacy of two people [Depp and Heard], both of whom have expressed a desire to get on with their lives, must be respected. Based on our understanding of the circumstances, the filmmakers and I are not only comfortable sticking with our original casting, but genuinely happy to have Johnny playing a major character in the movies. I accept that there will be those who are not satisfied with our choice of actor in the title role. However, conscience isn’t governable by committee. Within the fictional world and outside it, we all have to do what we believe to be the right thing.”

By way of interpretation, I’m receiving four points on gross and me and my bank account have concluded in this one specific matter, Don’t Believe Her. Life is more convenient when principles can be bent according to self-interest. Yes, I killed a hobo, but he was blocking traffic and I had a meeting. Sucking off Harvey Weinstein is how I had to break into show business because I wanted it really badly.

Depp likely didn’t do much of anything to Amber Heard other than be a drunk, angry, and largely impotent bracelet wearing ranter. Clearly, there’s no way J.K. Rowling knows what happened between Depp and his lesbian wife during their tumultuous time together. Were Depp not the key cast member of her upcoming film could Rowling be a lead voice behind a social media boycott of Depp ever working again? That’s rhetorical.