Pink and Carey Hart Aren’t Having Sex

Pink gave a rousing interview about what it’s like to be close to 40 and married with kids. In case you have absolutely no friends in this demographic to hear bitch and complain about everything. Pink concluded that sometimes she absolutely can’t stand her husband, former Motocross champ Carey Hart. But sometimes she loves him so much. No wonder she comes up with such profound lyrics.

Pink’s praise of Hart mostly consists of what a rock steady guy he is and great dad to their two kids. You don’t need a subtext expert to tell you that means nobody’s getting laid. Pink confirmed this fact by dropping this little tidbit:

“Then you’ll go through times when you haven’t had sex in a year. Is this bed death? Is this the end of it? Do I want him? Does he want me?”

A man will put his dick through a paper-mache Trump mask after three months of celibacy. At six months the house pets are getting nervous. Even if your old man now sees you as the stocky blond fella the rest of us do, he’s not going pussy dark for a year by volunteer. It’s you. Which leads to the next point Pink noted without any sense of irony:

“We’ve had two breaks. The first one was about a year. And the second one was 11 months.”

By way of wild guess, do these dates coincide with those annum you refused to have sex with your husband? Hart runs tattoo parlors and motorcycling teams in his early retirement. He revolutionized the backflip in competition. He can find women. A man doesn’t find “rock steady” in his life without a little help.

Female celebrities seem to be horrible at bringing things up to relate to the average woman. Watching your husband wander is something women of means can afford to do. Most women probably have more sleepless nights over the prospects. If Hart ditches you for far lower hassle woman, you’ll have two cute kids and endless piles of cash to retool. You can snap your fingers and a suspiciously well-groomed much younger backup dancer will be your new boyfriend. You can afford to be cavalier. In short, welcome to the world of men, lady lumberjack.

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