MTV Show In Trouble For Dragging Jaws

MTV has moved away from focusing on music to be judge and jury of the social justice scene. Now they have decided to pull the plug on the new reality series Siesta Key. The charges pending? Shark dragging. It was a pussy move from the safety of their boat. These jabronis didn’t even come close to that man eater. Whenever I kill a shark I do it using only a piece of driftwood and my wits. Then I wear its teeth as a necklace. Well, now the world will be deprived of another chance to watch idiots’ lives play out on television. Tough titties. The show would have been hot filth, but either way, I want to be the judge of that. I’m tired of recreational outrage ruining my options. 

The watch party introducing MTV’s new reality series, Siesta Key, came to an unlikely halt after a video depicting a shark dragged to its death went viral. The series stars Alex Kompothecras, who is allegedly friends with at least one of the men involved in the animal abuse. As a result, at least six thousand Facebook users are protesting the show. 

I’m lost. Point me to the rule book of what animals we care about and which ones we don’t. Is the united army of social justice aware that fishermen use live fish to catch other fish? A smaller fish being eaten alive by a bigger fish is humane as long as you don’t record yourself dragging it behind a boat first? What about Ikizukuri? That’s sushi that’s still alive. Should we call for the cancellation of Japan as a country for their culinary offenses against fish? Yes, Siesta Key would have been mind numbingly vapid borderline Cinemax level soft core beach porn, but freedom to broadcast such garbage is what makes America great. Especially when that shark would not hesitate if given the chance to eat you.