O.J. Parole Creates Unnoticed Victim

The Goldman family was particularly peeved about O.J. Simpson being granted parole at his first shot hearing this past week. Simpson did behead their kid for hitting on his ex-wife. But perhaps nobody suffered more with the Simpson parole decision than Khloe Kardashian. A large but unexpected consequence.

Internet trolls aren’t as creative as they are consistent. Many began pinging Kardashian’s account asking how she felt about her father coming home after nine years. Silly. Khloe’s mom might’ve let O.J. into her snatch thirty years ago, but no way she’s letting him into her Calabasas gated community. Not without a reality appearance agreement in place.

Khloe handled the #DaddysHome jokes by highlighting them, letting them know they were getting to her, and swearing. The trifecta of improper troll handling.

“People are assholes but I don’t care lol I focus on the good.”

“They are all fucked lol such assholes. Hehe oh well…. I’m happy and they hatin.”

Writing like an urban twelve year old isn’t going to aid in your defense.

The rumors of Khloe Kardashian’s lineage have persisted for as long as her mom was a Brentwood port of call for any man more successful than her husband. Kris Jenner proudly admitted as much in her book, Things I Did Before I Glommed Onto My Second Famous Tranny Husband. Also Khloe grew to be 38% larger than her midget sisters and impossibly less intelligent.

Something was amiss and everybody knew it. The Kardashians themselves teased Khloe’s lineage on the show with staged DNA paternity tests while Dead Robert Sr. tried to send lightning bolts from beyond.

Khloe’s too simple to blame her for much. Slamming her head through the windshield set her back further. You don’t get to choose your daddy. Not with a mommy like that. There’s a good chance she’s not O.J.’s daughter. And an equally good chance Kris Jenner isn’t quite certain herself.

_{Photo credit: Getty Images / Splash News}