Mia Khalifa, Movie Reviewer

It wasn’t enough for society to be able to leave comments on porn films. Long gone are the days of watch, wank and walk away. Everyone’s a critic. Pandora’s box is open wider than Mia Khalifa’s legs around BBC.

Now porn stars are critiquing actual movies that don’t involve a reach around or rim job. Mia possessing the ability to change career positions as fluidly as she did while being double penetrated deserves a woman of the year award. Pornstars are going to be the next protected class if they keep this up. It starts small first. Then they’ll want the rest of us to consider them actual people.  

Her actual review of the movie Dunkirk is cringy to say the least. The attempts at jokes go down more bitter than an IPA made from hops sitting in your grandma’s socks. Did I really expect Roger Ebert level reviews from the former self-proclaimed princess of porn? No. But if this is what you quit porn to do, maybe you should go back. You know what would have been better? Doing the movie review while nude. Untapped market. Keep that rotten tomato to yourself, Mia.

Photo Credit: Mia Khalifa/Instagram