Suing Your Reps Is Fraught With Peril

In Hollywood, your professional reps and personal assistants are like your family. So, only loyal to the dollar. Assume while you’ve been drinking most of your adult life, your esteemed ten-percenters have been sober and learning shit about you you wish were still secret. 

Suing your reps is like suing your confessional priest or super shrewd spouse. Do so at your own disregard to all the nasty shit they know about you. Johnny Depp is suing his long time business management firm, The Management Group, who couldn’t even be bothered to come up with a decent name while raking Depp’s table. In first response, TMG started sharing emails between themselves and Depp documenting his massive drunken spending. Depp laughed in their face. So now they’re releasing the emails that show Depp kicked the shit out of Amber Heard. Less laughter.

It’s one thing to threaten to kill Trump. That’s the most popular party game at Brentwood potlucks. But being a dude who wears jade jewelry and eye liner and kicks his lesbian wife is altogether unseemly. Heard had alluded to the domestic abuse by Depp during their tumultuous split, but her message was tainted by the fact she traded it all in for a fat check. Like the Cosby assault victim. Once you take the money, your veracity is forever in question. Though definitely take the money. Seven million is a lot of reasons to sell out. 

According to an email from one business assistant back to Heard, disclosed in the current trial:

“When I told him he kicked you, he cried. It was disgusting. And he knows it.”

It’s possible to believe Depp didn’t kick Heard, but that crying part sure seems like Depp. So does the kicking actually. Who kicks a woman? Who kicks a man, outside the Octagon? Were his anklets jingling as he punted Heard? So many questions remaining. None of them look good for Depp.

The upside of drunken abuse and profligate spending talk is it’s made people forget how Depp is routinely noted statistically as one of the worst cost-benefit actors in Hollywood. He’s paid top dollar for a long string of underwhelming box office performances. That reputation will kill you in Hollywood far faster than being a substance abusing asshole with a mumbly mouth and way too much jade. 

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