Justin Beiber Rider Demands Heavy on the Yogurt

Leaked insane musician riders should be taken with a grain of salt. The Evian baths and pre-sorted M&M’s are equal parts lore and tweaking rocker shouting random shit out to his agent. Most of what spoiled entertainers want is some kind of expensive food and drink they love and sweet digs. Plus whores. That goes without saying. You’d ask for the same if you could and nobody laughed. 

An Indian music journalist, Arjun Ravi, claims to have a leaked copy of Justin Bieber’s long and detailed contract rider for his upcoming performances on the subcontinent. Ravi’s a legit journalist. It’s unclear how much of the insanely listed demands are real or hoaxed. It is clear that Bieber himself couldn’t possibly know to think up most of these.

Amongst Bieber’s demands are a convoy of 10 luxury sedans and two buses, a ping pong table and sofa set, a private Jacuzzi, three floors of redecorated hotel rooms, a private lift, a personal (specifically female) masseuse, aromatic oils and incense sticks for his daily Yoga rituals, beauty products, clothing, fresh flowers, an organic turkey and a private jet and helicopter on permanent stand-by.

There’s a whole listing of specific types of exotic flowers and food products and upscale linens that Bieber himself couldn’t possibly be naming. Though none of this is probably much different than how your typical wealthy Silicon Valley exec travels. Also, if it were Beyonce, her adoring fans would call her a diva in a complimentary and admiring fashion. Then arbitrarily assign her organic turkey needs as black empowerment.

The world seems readily in agreement that Justin Bieber is an insufferable punk. No reason to make stuff up about the guy demanding certain types of gummy bears and exotic yogurts. It’s like the flood of pedo-bestiality-rape sex stories on Trump. It’s enough that he’s an old dirty bastard who likes off-colored pussy jokes. It’s counterproductive to your cause to so obviously pile on and hyperbolize. It generates sympathy where you least expect it. Justin Bieber. Can’t we simply let the boy fake sing and fuck lingerie models? Some day karma will send a bus. Leave him to heaven.

(Here’s one of Bieber’s exes, Alexandra Rodriguez, for a better eye on the real rider prizes.)

_{Photo Credit: Splash News}