Lourdes Leon in A Bikini

Lourdes Leon attends University of Michigan where undergrads sign an honor code to tell anybody who inquires that Madonna’s daughter is like any other student. A press team semi-annually leaks pictures of Lourdes picking out Goodwill furniture for her small dorm room and buying clove cigarettes to discuss the real solution to Syria with her fellow English majors. It’s like a prisoner of war camp on the day the Red Cross visits. After they’re gone, she’s eating vegan pate flown in from Belize off the backs of super fit hairless men desperate for a spot in Madonna’s touring company.

It almost certainly sucks to be a celebrity kid. Not as bad as being a famous murderer’s kid, but about ninety percent. Leon seems to be handling it reasonably well. The key seems to be spending as many days a year away from Madonna as possible. Rocco Ritchie skateboarded across the Atlantic understanding this same self-preservation instinct. It’ll be a dozen years before the lates acquisition from the Mali children’s market get the messages. Even then, Madonna’s instructions to her security team that the kids she paid for never leave will make it that much harder.

Lourdes Leon simply needs to discover a rebel yell not involving insider tats and armpit hair. You’ve got big boobs. Start acting like it.

_{Photo Credit: Splash News}