Porn Stars Back on the Beach

If you’re a champion of pornography rights under the guise of civil rights, you’re a liar. But you’ve signed up for a solid cause. Women who fuck on camera for their 9 to 5 are people too. The men, not so much. For years these broken souls of eighteen up to twenty-three or premature death have toiled in the shadows of our economy, our politics, and our neighborhood block parties. Who shall speak for thee, ass to mouth specialist?

The pale and pounded who live among us are now venturing out in the sun. As when fish took to land and experienced their first genital warts. Porn stars like Naomi Woods and Kate England are never exactly fit like regular models. There’s some element of shying away from the crowded clubs. Also, tremendous self-loathing. You only wished dad wished you were a boy. These ladies are trying their damnedest to fit in. Maybe cut back on the ass in air poses. You’re going to ruin romantic vacations for tons of men whose wives started staring at them funny.

The next time you consider adopting an open sewer village kid in Guatemala, consider a porn star in Reseda. The cost is about the same and the fake letters you’ll receive won’t just be tear jerkers.

_{Photo credit: FameFlynet}