Jennifer Lopez Mysterious Breasts

Jennifer Lopez posted cryptic pre-printed messages on Instagram providing the opportunity for hundreds of thousands of women to muse over her relationship status with Drake over the weekend. Everybody finds their own form of living through others. Most chose the Super Bowl.

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As a sign of the times women can no longer express their insipid relationship chatter in complete sentences. You’re a forty-seven year old woman with several years of New York public schools primary education. Lopez put the punctuation on her updates with a picture of her under boob. Lead with that and you don’t have to write anything. Nice tits, Jenny.

This Lopez-Drake thing may be as trumped up as the Mariah Carey and Bryan Tanaka publicized romance, though Lopez and Drake both prefer fucking the opposite sex, so there’s not an immediate disqualification. It’s almost time to remember which nanny currently has the kids so you can explain to them about mommy’s new black Canadian Jewish rapper friend. Is mommy fucking Drake? You’ll find out when you’re old enough for Instagram.