Charlotte McKinney Swimsuit Tits Seem So Simple

After a series of tormented lectures from editors and models alike at Sports Illustrated on body acceptance, Charlotte McKinney is a breath of fresh air. She has enormous tits, she’s hoisting a thong and she’s not saying a word. The Nobel Committee has prizes in all the wrong categories.

SI ordered everybody involved in their Swimsuit Issue to present a Powerpoint on feminism and body positive schema before coyly giggling and admitting they weren’t wearing any underpants. Jumping through hoops to get into a girls pants is nothing new. The twelve labors of Hercules merely to watch her take her pants off in touched up magazines photos seems step. Charlotte McKinney asks for none of this.

The next Kate Upton has kept away from Kate Upton cliched sermons on sexual objectification. She’s omitted Ashley Graham lectures on models looking more like the rest of fat America. And she’s ignored a dozen other assorted bullshit forays into how stripping is empowering for the woman. Sort of like how prostate exams empower the man. Deeper, Doc, I’m feeling cowboy.

The day Charlotte McKinney blames men for her big tits and apologizes to women for keeping fit is the day you may toss her from the masturbatory roster. Until such time, honor her hard work and good fortune. The beach in Miami is ten times more honest than Time, Inc.