Kelly Bensimon in A Bikini

There’s no SIC code in particular for lifestyle advisor, faux celebrity book author, and costume jewelry seller, but it certainly seems to be the lucrative business of many women previously married to relatively well known men. You have to believe most of the money is coming from the sale of shiny beads on HSN because the audience for this style and fitness housewife guru nonsense isn’t highly literate.

Kelly Bensimon has six books to her name. They all seem to be the same book under the same Hamptons musings Dewey Decimal category with slightly different titles. But they get purchased and traded around by women who refer to them as guilty pleasures. The same with the imitation jade pieces and the advice on summer date shakes and killer three-minute cardio workouts.

Kelly Bensimon was born good looking. From there she went into modeling where she learned how to eat extremely tiny portions and exercise religiously. She summed the whole package up with a shit ton of surgical enhancements and Botulinum toxin. There’s your book. Do that and you’ll look like this approaching forty-nine. From a distance. 

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