Heidi Klum in A Bikini

Heidi Klum’s fond of hitting her hotel balcony after she fucks her significantly younger boyfriend. She pretends he is an artist of some measure. Whatever gets you through. We’ve all been there. Klum adds topless to the repertoire so the DailyMail can buy up the bare titty photos and censor them, like hiring a hooker just to talk. It makes business sense in a world that is glaringly unfair.

Heidi Klum is taking on more and more traits of a middle aged guy with money who doesn’t give a fuck. Including this post-coital peacock routine. She’s one previously owned Porsche Carrera away from being your eighth grade buddy’s embarrassing divorced dad. She needs a perm and some inappropriate conversations with her kids about getting some. Fuck, this archetype is so much better with a good looking blond.

_{Photo Credit: Splash}