FEMEN Is Losing the War of Attrition (VIDEO)

The topless marauding Euro-feminist group FEMEN started out as a tight knit group of shrieking Ukrainian women demanding big ideas like Marxist reforms and state subsidized maxi pads. They were ISIS like in their central command and dispersal of their bare tiny titty arsenal. Micaela brainstormed all the slogans. Vanny drove the ’92 Isuzu. Liesel’s job was to get overtly beaten by the cops since she already had brain damage. Other chicks were consumed for food during harsh winters.

At some point FEMEN corporate agreed to franchise out to other European cities. The command and control structure of these floppy Harpies was degraded. FEMEN labeled chicks started ripping off their tops to protest Skoal shortages in the local bodegas. Attacks were now merely FEMEN-inspired. Like this chick at the Trump wax figure unveiling at some Spanish museum. You can’t use grease pen if you’re a shvitzer, Big Tammy.

This amateur hour with the hangers never happened in FEMEN Classic. A post-mortem will show she’s likely a Berkeley student on semester abroad. That’ll ruin the cause but fast. This is why you can’t leave the charcuterie board unattended.