Madison Beer in A Bikini

It’s hard to believe Madison Beer is still seventeen. It seems like years ago now that she was discovered by Justin Bieber while he was masturbating to hot underaged girls on YouTube. She’s become a singing phenom without ever recording or releasing a single track. Mostly she’s taking beach trips with her boyfriend while her mom sends out publicity releases about how amazing everything is going in her daughter’s life. Of course it’s amazing. She’s seventeen and banging an older guy in four star Miami hotel rooms. I’m not even a chick and I’m screaming into my diary about those prospects.

The application process for being famous seems pretty random these days. If they’d simply spell out that being seventeen and having powerful men dying to fuck you was the standard, we’d all cringe a little but completely understand. We’d also give the Jenner girls less shit. Nothing’s changed much in human psyche in the past ten thousand years. We simply lie more now. 

_{Photo Credit: Splash}