Ballerina Melanie Hamrick Gives Mick Jagger Another Baby

Mick Jagger had his eighth kid by his fifth baby mama. He’s been fucking babies into women for forty-six years now. The David Bowie years don’t count as they produced no children. Jaggers’s the pruny white sire equivalent of a Jets defensive back, only he has the securely managed assets to pay for all the kids and their mothers handsomely through the rest of their lives.

It’s not weird that a man who can fuck younger attractive women continues to do so even as he ages into something resembling that gnarled tree in the neighbor’s yard that scared you on your way to school. The odd part might be not getting that vasectomy back in ’87 to keep even more kids from rolling on through. There is some subset of men who find gratification in the production of large broods of offspring. Minor compared to the number of men who put on a fake smile during diaper changes and kick themselves for not pushing harder on that abortion. Why wouldn’t she want to go horesback riding with you in her second trimester. The plan seemed so perfect.

Jagger always shows up to the hospital for the birth of his latest children. Also, to receive oxygen and intravenous interferon so that he may live another day. There’s yet to be invented a better job than rock and roll star. 

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