Tracy Anderson in A Bikini

Tracy Anderson is the tiny little L.A. based fitness guru who numerous high profile celebrity clients thank for looking amazing in dresses and bikinis well into their 30’s and 40’s. Anderson herself doesn’t appear to have any of her original parts intact. She used to be pear shaped. And a foot taller. It’s not clear which step in her intense dance workouts involve the plastic surgeons rushing out to relocate the nipples and laser flay the necks. 

The better part of the job of any service provider to the rich and famous is to listen to shit and nod approval. Any aerobics instructor from the local junior college can get Gwneth Paltrow toned in the thighs and ass. Squats are not trademarked. But who will spend thirty minutes after the session pretending to be interested in how her rejuvenated vagina has been frequency synched to her vibrator via her iPhone app. You want to kill her. I want to kill her. Tracy Anderson smile and says, “You are so amazing”. Just assume all midgets are smarter than you.

_{Photo Credit: FameFlynet}