Whitney Port Cancun Bikini

It took me a while to remember who this chick was. The Jewish girl they let me on The Hills to avoid federal lawsuit.

For a while she maintained a following of young girls who like to buy shit with their parents credit card to make up for an absence of achievement in school or work. That’s not a small audience. Hence, fat paychecks for pushing handbags and shoes. There’s a limited career span for that gig if you can’t keep making yourself famous in other ways. Say, have a rapper’s baby or be committed to a mental institution after lighting your dog on fire.

Cancun means you’re no longer famous. Say hi to the guys from Wichita State on student travel packages. 

_{Photo Credit: AKM-GSI}