Melissa Lori in A Bikini

In the old days, a tiny chick with small tits could never get her nude body in the door of glamour modeling. Upon finally making it naked onto the porn version of Playboy run outside of international law from a boat anchored off Cyprus, this chick from Queens noted:

I submitted my pictures for years, hoping that I’d get to pose. I guess it wasn’t my time—until now! I believe in fate, and I’m over the moon to finally be here. What a dream come true!”

To state the obvious, you look fourteen. How many years were you submitting photos and did you keep records for the authorities on who was receiving them on the other end of the BitTorrent? 

If diversity has brought us anything it’s that a woman of any color or size or looks can now have the pointless and hopeless dream of being naked for money. No matter if you went to Syria to train with ISIS and you got fat on hummus, there’s a site for you paying fifty bucks. Pick a fake name and grab a number. Free college is never happening. 

_{Photo Credit: FameFlynet}