Amy Schumer’s Autobiography Sounds Awesome

Someone wrote a series of anecdotes best described as porn for fat chicks and slapped Amy Schumer’s name on it. That chubby chick you know from the corner bar will soon memorize each tidbit and pass them off as her own in hopes of bedding the hot guy who cares more about personality than great jugs. That guy doesn’t exist yet the cultural zeitgeist is ripe for incredibly sloppy soft porn which after all is just another word for fantasy. Perhaps whoever wrote this book compiled these stories from another fat chick at a bar who mentored her in hopes of getting her to go down on her. And so it goes: 

“I really needed a boost of sexual confidence during that time of my life. This person who made me feel beautiful and sexy… When you get older and wiser, you get your confidence from within, not from the person you are having sex with.”

So true. Pour out a little chardonnay for Mama Cass. Schumer also reveals she was once fucking a guy who turned out to be gay. What’s wrong with that? Stop being homophobic the guy wasn’t gay he was sexually fluid so what if he sat on a donut shaped pillow. Schumer has lots of bits centered on embarrassing men. One guy had a small dick. I doubt he was super psyched either. 

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