Farrah Abraham in A Bikini

Dating life is tough for a single mom. Single mom anal porn stars not nearly as bad. Farrah Abraham has been the “toughest case yet” for We channel’s Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger who finds people who aren’t really millionaires and creates artificial relationships that last so long as the cameras are on. If authenticity is your concern, you’re not tuned into basic cable in the afternoon lamenting how life randomly dealt you so many lemons.

Stanger lambasted Abraham in pre-approved questions about how she could possibly hope to find a man when she’s doing nude webcams and strip club dancing. Also pre-approved, Abraham broke down in tears. Tears are for a female audience what double penetration ass to mouth are for men. Cathartic. Abraham only mildly skirts the truth when asked what she does for a living by first dates who have no access to a search engine:

I do different things, whether it’s adult novelty toys, or a children’s boutique, or a restaurant.

That’s actually rather honest. Abraham pushes a sex toy line molded from her vagina and rectum, as well as selling children’s clothing and owning a couple yogurt shops. You could go into detail about the sex work, but that would beg the question why don’t you tell us more about retailing kindergartener dresses and how you make your frozen treats so tangy and nobody wants that.

Abraham is a massively affected and conniving character, but she’s turned absolutely nothing into a six-figure 1040 annually. You can’t endorse free market capitalism without at least begrudgingly honoring those with sales game. Hockey goons are booed but always employed. People love a circus. 

_{Photo Credit: Splash}