Kimberley Garner in A Bikini

If there’s a checklist for modern day chick celebrity with no appreciable talent, it’s reality show credits, revealing social media pictures, and a bikini swimwear or signature cosmetics line that can’t possibly be making any money. The business plan exit strategy consists of greatly upgrading the 1040 income of the men you date. Like Warren Buffet if he had a splendid ass.

This British chick has the trifecta rolling along like a pro. Though she’s twenty-six which is fifty-five in millennial social media star years. You start with down top duck face selfies at fourteen. If you’re not a Jonas brother beard or blowing Bieber by nineteen, you might have to reconsider cosmetology school or that Pakistani man with his own bodega who keeps sending you chocolates. I’d love to be a fly on the wall when these girls all get together to discuss their career progress. But only if flies can masturbate furiously.

_{Photo Credit: Instagram}