Ted Cruz Sex Scandal Seems Vaguely Off-Putting

The National Enquirer is reporting and or just making up that Ted Cruz banged five women not his wife. Immediately below that headline in the same copy Blake Shelton is banging nine women not Gwen Stefani which snuffs their own lede. Everybody who dislikes Ted Cruz because he speaks like the teacher you hated most in your life is quick to point out that the Enquirer was right about John Edwards and a couple other noteworthy political sex scandals. They’re less quick to point out the hundreds of headline stories that proved to be unfounded through the years. Also that having sex is not a scandal nor perverted. Cruz’ wife was caught not long ago wandering around freeway overpassed looking dazed and confused, so she likely knows already. Not all men cheat, not all pious pen cheat. But they both do so equally in large numbers. We run through this every four years. It’s not scandalous to be in the normative behavior column. If you don’t want to vote for a guy because he likes to plow multiple women not his crazy wife, that’s your prerogative. Or admit that you like Ted Cruz now more than you did before you knew he might be digging that penis nose into multiple women’s vaginas. Vomit comes in all colors.

Photo credit: National Enquirer