Michael Phelps Is Hilarious

Michael Phelps uploaded this holiday photo to his Instagram after scrolling through several images to see which one made his abs look best. Who cares if your friends are out of focus, get the right light on my package and open the shutter. Phelps just got out of booze rehab for his DUI and has probably been psychotically running stairs at 5 am like most addicts to make the voices stop. Or he’s just a guy who likes to get fucked up and drive every now and then. I’m not judging. Either way he’s pulling a bait and switch by being svelte at a time of year most people wake up and chug whole buttermilk. Being sober for the holidays must be tough when there are giant punchbowls of delicious creamy booze at even the most boring of obligatory party stops. And those are the ones where you just need to taste it. Go ahead Mike, nobody’s looking. At least Phelps can bang his second Miss California girlfriend in as many years under the tree which in my mind counts as a moment of clarity. You’re doing something right.

Photo Credit: Instagram