Shia LaBeouf Is Crazy Talented

Shia LaBeouf claimed his drunken buffoonery was caused by his acting research and not the fact that he’s incredibly prone to being a douchebag. It’s hard to come to grips with being a Teen Beat boy slut. Some deal with this validated self loathing through drugs or suicide. LaBeouf has decided to prove his doubters wrong and become a Playgirl centerfold doing a bad Brando. Hemingway would blush but Cory Feldman is probably jealous. He describes pissing off Alec Baldwin during a shoot as the type of shit hardcore actors and not annoying assholes do:

“Alec and I butted heads hard. I was sleeping in the park .?.?. At the time, I was out of my mind.”

I wonder if he bunked with Miley’s unemployed male model ward who was also sleeping in the park. This park sure sounds like fun to me. Low grade heroin and blow jobs from trannies with The AIDS is Disneyland for the deeply self-loathing. LaBeouf’s plans following his next string of cuntiness are to do a lot of rhino hunting from a T Top Camaro while drinking aged bourbon. He won’t be happy until he’s died in some terrifically pointless masculine manner. Neither will we.

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