Adrian Peterson Wet His Beak

Adrian Peterson’s uncle apparently paid for a hotel room and a group of hookers with a credit card account linked to Peterson’s charity. The charitable foundation’s rep, who is most likely Peterson’s home theater guy, denies any such malfeasance. Peterson admits an orgy transpired in the room but doesn’t want to call it an orgy because he heard that was bad in church. The foundation’s website has been shut down but offered a limp explanation:

“The Adrian Peterson All Day Foundation website is temporarily offline to allow its charity partners to continue focusing on their outstanding community efforts rather than responding to the numerous media inquiries. The Foundation will continue to support the various philanthropic causes that Adrian and his family care so deeply about.”

Any one giving their credit card number to an escort service is clearly mentally challenged. I think we can write this charge off as a charitable act. In Peterson’s defense, many athletes have foundations and organizations that uses their name and are largely places to employ deadbeat relatives who remind you all the shit they say they did for you as a kid. Just because Peterson likes to make lots of babies with many women and then beat them bloody with sticks doesn’t mean he’s a crook. Or that he likes hooker orgies. Although spinning the wheel of Hep C never grows old.

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