Lourdes Leon in a Green Bikini

I hope Madonna’s magic Kabbalah bracelet saves a little hocus pocus power for keeping her daughter pure at the University of Michigan this fall. That’s where Madonna herself went for three hours before she realized happiness can’t be found in any book or classroom. Just by rolling around naked with gay dancers on a bed. What with 119% of all co-eds being raped at colleges these days, the odds are stacked against Lourdes Leon. Maybe her dad can step in and give her a speech about how sex is something sacred to be saved for when your high profile fitness training client says your mulatto blood would be perfect to bang a Benetton baby into her. Raising kids is complicated these days. The best you can do is ground them in the reality of yachting vacations abroad and French smokes and hope they grow up wise.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet