Justin Bieber Probably Slept With Adriana Lima

It turns out the Cannes Film Festival wasn’t all about being a shirtless dickhead and having Paris Hilton rub her sweaty moose knuckle all over his baby boner for Justin Bieber. According to Us Weekly, the 20-year old singer delivered a death blow to all of his jealous haters by wearing former Victoria’s Secret model Adriana Lima down until she agreed to go back to his hotel. Justin “pursued her hard” as they talked all night before leaving the Gotha night club together at 5 am. Justin only posted a photo of his new friend to Instagram, but the recently-single 32-year old model apparently decided that it was time to have a little douchebag inside of her. The report claims that this “won’t turn into anything serious,” and I imagine that’s because nothing happened, and they only left together because she carried him out of the club in her arms as he sucked his thumb and stained his baggy jeans with a wet dream.